I took my time finding this scene and setting up. 90% of my Dock paintings are done in studio from reference photos. Sometimes when I set up in plein air I forget how to draw. I forget how to paint. Every thing erases from my mind and I can’t escape my anxiety. Or perhaps my ego. What if people are watching? What if it’s not the right scene? I can’t believe I left my kids home alone? I hear kids playing. My kids should be here. I here couples talking. I repeat. I don’t know how to do this. I’m scared. In the studio there is nothing but certainty. I know I have to push through the downward spiral. I talk myself into staying. I pause, breathe, walk away for a moment. You can do it. Stay in it. Just stay. Okay- that’s not so bad- I think I hit a right note, one right note. Search for another. Boom. Okay- I can do this. I think.
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